1, 2, 3 Magic

Some of you have asked about 1, 2, 3 Magic, so I thought I'd do my best to explain. My mom introduced me to this tactic a couple of days ago and it has really worked wonders with Brynna. There were many times when she would choose to ignore our requests to do things, such as getting dressed, picking up something, stop playing with her food, taking something away from Baylen and refusing to give it back, throwing a tantrum, etc. So, in comes 1, 2, 3 Magic! When we ask her to do something, and she refuses, then I will say, "Brynn, that's 1...if I get to three, that means you'll have a timeout." You can also say, "That's one and that's your warning...if I get to 3, then you'll have to sit in timeout." So far, I have only had to count up to 2 and have never had to get to 3 for a timeout or whatever consequence I decide is necessary based on the situation. For example, sometimes the consequence is not a timeout, but instead, taking a toy away for awhile that she's not willing to share with Baylen or taking her juice box away b/c she's messing with the straw, leaving a store and going to the car or going back home, or taking her plate away and telling her that's it, she's done. Whenever she does listen the first time or even after the "1" warning, then I always praise her and tell her that she is such a good girl for listening and I thank her and give her lots of positive warm fuzzies. She totally understands what I mean about if I reach 3, and has responded to it very well since the very first time I tried it.

Here's an example scenario that happened last night:

Brynna was playing with the straw in her juice box pulling it up and down.

Me: "Brynna, please stop messing with your straw and drink your juice like a big girl."

Brynn: "No mom I will mess with straw."

Me: "Brynna, that's one. If I get to three, I will take your juice and you won't get to drink it anymore. Please put the straw back in your juice."

Brynna: "no no take away, Mommy. I drink it like big girl, okay?"

and that was the end of it. :)

ME: "Thank you honey, for listening. You are such a good girl for drinking your juice and not messing with your straw."

My suggestions:

*I think you have to find the window of opportunity when deciding when it's okay to use this tool. That is, recognize when your child is emotionally and mentally ready to understand that one is really a "warning" and that they know next comes 2 then 3. Also, that they understand what a timeout is and why they are in a timeout in the first place.

*Try to avoid "yelling" when giving the warning, but instead, remain calm and have a firm voice. That way they know you're serious and mean business, but you aren't freaking out or getting too upset. I know Brynn seems to respond much better when I am calm, yet firm vs. getting upset and getting overly frustrated in the heat of the moment.

*This is one kind of discipline/consequence tool. I recommend trying to avoid over-using it.

*Follow through...if you are going to give a timeout, then that's the consequence. If you're going to take something away, then do it. Otherwise, this method will lose substance verrry quickly