Boy has this been an interesting, yet trying couple of weeks. Two Saturdays ago, we visited our pediatrician for the Baylen's first official check-up and second PKU test. After he examined Baylen, he told us he wanted to talk to us now as parents of TWO children. He said he had some advice for us...he continued to explain how important it was to avoid setting our expectations too high for our oldest child, even now as an 18-month old. He mentioned that we should expect that she would regress in some of her behaviors or habits, and that certain things she was doing before, she might refuse to do. He said to give into some of these habits if she does regress, and to just really be aware that she is adjusting just as much as we are, even if she doesn't show it right away. He reminded us that she is still a baby/young toddler herself and we can't expect her to act any different than her age. I felt so relieved as he was saying all of this, because I felt like we had been forcing ourselves to treat her like a "big girl" before we were ready for that. I also felt like we were automatically expecting her to behave a certain way now that the baby was here and we both felt guilty about it. Dr. Dong made us feel so much better about the entire situation.
Before our second baby was born, we had been working really hard to get rid of Bee's "mi-mi" (pacifier) and we were almost down to just having it in her bed...but baby came and all of that hard work went down the tubes. Regression #1: Brynn wants her pacifier ALL the time. It isn't that we minded giving into that habit and allowing her to have it that bothered us. It was the constant whining that went along with the demand for the mi-mi. She would just break down into tears, sobs even, if we didn't produce that mi-mi immediately. We also decided that since she doesn't use one at daycare (apparently she doesn't need one there but needs one with mom and dad at home....) that having one at home would be okay. We'll work on getting rid of it when she has adjusted a little more to the new brother.
Regression #2: major meltdowns at home and in public...Brynn used to be the best little shopper no matter where we went. That all changed in the blink of an eye...on our first trip to Target as a foursome, Bee wants Dj or I to pick her up and carry her around the store, instead of sitting in the cart. She refuses to ride in the cart and screams and cries if we don't pick her up. We gave in the first couple of trips to Target, and took turns carrying her around or letting her walk beside us, holding our hand. However, last weekend's trip was the final straw. After Dj refused to pick her up and carry her around, she began crying loudly and would not stop. Dj was trying to finish up the shopping b/c I was dealing with Baylen in the other cart and getting him a bottle ready since he was going into meltdown mode himself. I heard Brynna crying the entire time Dj was rolling around picking up the last few items. It was embarrassing. Now I know what those parents feel like when their child is causing a scene and everyone stares. I told Dj we were not going to keep carrying her around all the time, that she needed to sit in the cart and shop with us. If she could not do that, then the next time she had a fit, one of us would take her to the car and sit with her. We will give in to some of these behaviors, but not all of them. Throwing fits in public is one I won't deal with. At home, we were seeing the same types of behaviors. If she was told "no" then she would start throwing a fit, crying, whining, or fall on the floor and throw a tantrum. This was the NOT the sweet little girl we were used to raising.
Regression #3: Waking up in the middle of the night...Granted, Brynn was never a great sleeper until she was about six months old. However, the past few months, we had become accustomed to sleeping all night with no interruptions and experiencing the wonderful feeling of getting 8 hours of sleep. When Baylen came home, Miss Brynn figured out quickly that he was staying in our room at night and she wanted to be included, too. Our worst night came on Tuesday night when she woke up around 1:30 and would not go back down to sleep. She would wake up just sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. I was worried our neighbors were going to freak out that something was really wrong with her b/c she was crying so hard. One of us would go in and comfort her and rock her back to sleep. The nights prior to Tues., she was content with the rocking and would go back to sleep fine until morning. Tuesday she was NOT giving in. Finally, I threw in the towel and brought her in bed w/ us for a couple of hours so she (and we) could sleep. Around 4:30, I woke up and took her back to her own bed and she stayed asleep until it was time to get her up for daycare.
Dj and I agreed that was the worst night ever! I am hoping and praying that she will adjust soon. It breaks my heart every time I think about how much the new baby has changed her world and she is trying to make sense of why she has to share mommy and daddy's time all of a sudden. I feel so guilty about it, and I guess that is just part of being a mom and bringing more kids into the family.
2 comments:
Although Logan was a few months older when Quinn came along (23 months old) he regressed too. It'll quickly get back to the way it was. No worried there. Just do what you need to do to get by right now and work on little things (like taking the Mi-Mi away) later when things have settled.
This is what scares me about having a second baby!!
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